someone told me once that shooting stars are really just angels throwing away their cigarettes before God could catch them smoking
I’m in so much pain. I had to go to the hospital because I was puking blood, ended up with appendicitis and walking ammonia anddd a uti.
God is good.
I’m still pretty loaded if the morphine and Vicodin.
But I still ache everywhere
I also have a million little blood freckles on my face, they’re endearing really
But I was deathly afraid of being in the hospital, The last time I was in the hospital I was sixteen and they took me away from my family and I was in some sort of rehab center for fourteen days before I could go back home. And I was put in this teen program and there were kids who were literally crazy and would when they were brought in, in the middle of the night they would scream and shout. It was terrifying. And then they put me on so many medications I didn’t even feel like a person anymore I just felt like a body walking around, idk it was horrific. So unless I’m near death I refuse to go to the hospital.
So the entire time I was there I clung to my mother and when she wasn’t right next to me I would sob like a child.
But this is just the tip of the iceberg
It’s started. There so much more about to happen. Because when it rains, it fucking pours.
last night i saw you in a dream
i’m still unclear as to what it all means
two nights before much of the same
i found you dancing on the back of my brain
the hallucination was pleasant
in my head things were fine
so far from a nightmare
so near to sublime
we kissed and we fought
i laughed and you screamed
i’ve learned to loathe these goddamn visions
but i just can’t wait to fall back to sleep
I can feel it in my bones.
My mother has always said it if wasn’t for bad luck we’d have no luck at all.
Anxiety is wanting to ask your partner a million questions as to why they’re with you, why they say they care about you, and so on.
Depression is not thinking you’re worth enough to even ask those questions, let alone be with them.
and having both of them is the definition of hell